Built-In Radar

Remember when your nieces and nephews were small and you'd go into the kitchen to fix a snack, didn't matter if they were far out in the yard playing. It would always seem like those little hellion's had built-in radar, bogey in the kitchen thrusters on full and the preverbal scream "I'MMMMM HONNNNGRY". So years later when my niece had grown up and now has kids of her, I was sitting at her table one day and she went into the kitchen to cook. One of her little kids was out in the yard playing and her radar kicked on. Bogey in the kitchen, thrusters on full, "I'MMM HONNNNGRY" and I just sat there and smiled sweetly.

Arkansas is so small, stagnated and closed minded that even the damned UFO's want have anything to do with it!

Chicken and Dumplins Are Reaaalllllllyyy Bad

When the family dog digs a deep hole, push's them in, covers them with the dirt and spends the next 4 hours piling trash on them. Now people I want you to know that is Baaaaad.

Deep Thoughts from The Web

Cop VS. The Little Girl

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her shiny new bike stopped beside him. Nice bike," the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?" Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it." The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you've got there sir. Did Santa bring it to you?" Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year, tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."